Out of the Hospital, I am now free.

Dear Reader,

I am now out of the hospital and at my room. There are things that I really missed out, like, my dad has anew job, well actually he got promoted and he is senior vice president of  the company. Then, my brother broke up with his horrible girlfriend and I am moving to another school because my mom told me it will be embarrassing if the senior vice president of the company is currently going to a public school.

So, I am moving to San Francisco University High School. In that school there are rich, smart, maybe hot guys and popular people. How am I going to fit in? I'm being pressured I think but my doctor told me if I feel pressured I just need to relax, breathe in and out and smile.

Ok, I think I can do this. I just need new clothes and new look, I think. Oh my god, I was never been this vain about my self. I think the school is already changing me. Oh, and when I said to Colt and Angel that I am moving to another school, they told me that they understand and good luck then they thought me how San Francisco University High School goes. Like where the cliques, geeks and popular people or sociopathic social climber. like that people.

Good luck for myself I start school there on Monday. Oh My God....


                                                                                                                  Love Always
                                                                                                                           Mary

2 weeks later

Dear Reader,

It's been 2 weeks since I've updated. There's a lot of things going on with my head. My doctor told me I should relax more that's why I have decided to go to the church more. I go to the prayer room in the hospital to pray to God and I pray the before and after the meal prayer when I eat. Also I met someone last week, his name Julian. He told me he has been in this hospital for about a week and he is diagnosed of OCD and ADHD. He told me that he never thought that he have some disorders. He always thought he is normal.

We are like the hospital soulmates cause we like the same type of songs and type of movies and books. I never thought I would find someone like me.

                                                                                                                   love always,
                                                                                                                         mary

Movies and complicated and confusing

Dear Reader,

      Today, my brother visited me and he gave me some gifts from our relatives that I don't know and some of the students at school, which I don't remember their names. Then, he gave me a box full of DVDs and CDs of movies.

   

       Some of them are old, romantic, scary, or new, but mostly old. Like 70's, 80's and 90's movies. My kind of movies. You know.

       I just think that movies these days are like kinda of don't have sense. They're all about sex, big butts and mostly twerking or sex. 

They are kinda not appropriate to children or even old people. Also today I had a mail from Colt. He told me he never wanted to see me again and never call him as a friend or anything. He told me let's just be strangers.

Now, I'm confused. Is it about the kiss or he just hates even in the first day we met ? Very confusing.

                                                                                                                 Love Always,

                                                                                                                        Mary

CONFUSED

Dear Reader,
    Here I am, again. Colt visited me last night while I was sleeping. I mean he sneeked in. So, he woke me up and we played monopoly and watched " The Breakfast Club" and " Ferris Bueller's Day Off". They were a very good movie.

   While we were playing monopoly, Colt told me " Wait, I need to tell you something." He told me the reason why he visited me because he felt lonely in school and Angel has a boyfriend. I knew he liked Angel so much. He told me he felt like crying at that time. He told why Angel is so blind, why didn't she feel the love. All I can do was sit in silence. But then, all of a sudden he kissed me out of nowhere. I felt the spark in my body. But, after that he left but before he left he said sorry.
   
   He left me like a dumb cat or something. I don't know what to do. I feel like a flower that is drying out. Please help me. Please I need someone's opinion about this. I think I need some tea and some sleep. I need someone out there. I can't talk to Angel about this. It will be awkward for me.

   So tonight, I have mixed emotions. I wish my Aunt Opal was here. I can't control myself now. I need your help.

                                                                                   Love Always,

                                                                             Mary

Dear Reader

Dear Reader,
  I am writing to you because my doctor told me to tell someone about my feeling or what am i feeling today. Firstly, I am in high school and I like to read books. I'm a freshman in Abraham Lincoln High School (San Francisco). I only have 2 friends, Colt and Angel, they are seniors and they are going to graduate in May. Basically my life is like the book or movie that is "The Perks of Being A Wallflower." I am here at the University of California, San Francisco, Department of Psychiatry Center.

This is where people, mostly teenagers go when they have mental problems or disorders that are very very dangerous and strong, I think. So, I got here because my doctor told me I have ADHD,  social anxiety disorder and OCD. They told my parents that I am going to be here for about 2 months and my social anxiety disorder is very dangerous when mostly i get too shy or angry. So, my doctor suggest I'll stay here and my family have to visit me 3 or 4 time a week to keep me warm and comfort and happy.

So, today I'm feeling normal nothing much and it's 9:57 p.m. and I've got to go to sleep at 10:00. So, this were it ends see you next time. And thank you for not sleeping or getting bored while reading this.

                                                                                                                    Love always,

                                                                                                                           Mary

REALLY COMPLICATED

YESTERDAY BRYCE ASKED ME OUT. HE TOLD ME TO MEET HIM AT THE CINEMA AT 6. I WAS THERE ON TIME. HE NEVER REALLY COME. I WAITED FOR 4 HOURS AND HE DIDN'T EVEN TEXTED ME THAT HE CAN'T COME BUT NOT TELLING ME OR TEXTING ME OR CALLING ME ABOUT NOT COMING TO OUR DATE. I THINK WE ARE COMPLICATED.

DOUBTFUL

I THINK  BRYCE IS HESITATING ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. HIS FRIENDS ARE HAVING A PARTY BUT HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO. I REALLY REALLY WANT TO GO. I THINK HE DIDN'T TOLD HIS FRIENDS ABOUT US. LIKE HE IS ASHAMED ABOUT US BEING TOGETHER. IF HE IS ASHAMED FOR BEING TOGETHER THEN WHY DID HE ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND. HE IS SO STUPID ABOUT IT. I WANT A GUY WHO WILL LIKE FOR WHO I AM. AND WHO DOESN'T HIDE ME TO HIS FRIENDS. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH HIM ? PLEASE HELP ME.