dadpiff

i am reviewing this because i was ‘vaguely encouraged’ to do so via my twitter feed.

i bought this book and i think my sister also bought this book so overall my family bought two copies of this book, which seems like a lot.

i like the poems in this book. “starving to death during sex is something i would like to do this week” is a line from one of the poems that i like a lot and relate to, i think. i think that poem is in this book, i’m not sure because i don’t have the book with me right now.

it seems harder to write about poetry than to write poetry.

there are a bunch of references to drugs in this book, but there are also poems that aren’t about drugs, so there is some nice variety. the general mood of the poems is 'sad’ or 'fucked’ which is something i usually like in poems.

it is probably worth reading this book just to be 'in the know’ and 'hip’.

one time i was doing drugs and i needed a surface to do them off of and i was going to use this book but i used megan boyle’s book instead. i do not think this effected the drug experience.

one time i tweeted “i will never be together enough to make us, together, beautiful” which i thought was clever. it got no favorites or retweets.

from my ‘book’ The 6 things i could never do without

(living the self-promotion life)

altlitpress:

Read here

It’s like a book of poems and screenshots about OkCupid experiences or something idk

i wrote this idk

This is the beginning of a short story I am writing ‘about’ David Lewis.

David Lewis was 17. It was 1958. David Lewis was sitting in the backyard of his parent’s house with three of his friends, all males between the ages of 17 and 18. It was night. David Lewis’s parents were not home. A pipe was passed to David Lewis. “It’s still cherried, hit that shit.” said David Lewis’s friend. David Lewis inhaled, passed the pipe, and then exhaled smoke. He made a small cough and said: “Okay. So what if, what if everything that could possibly happen, really does happen, but in some alternate universe. Like what if there are alternate universes and every possibility is fulfilled in these alternate universes? And here, here’s the weirdest part, these alternate universes are just as real as our own universe.” David Lewis’s friend exhaled smoke. “Dude, that’s trippy shit.” he said. “You should be like, a philosopher.” He laughed. David Lewis smiled. Another one of David Lewis’s friends said: “Hey do you have anything to eat inside? I’m ripped man, and I’m starving.” David Lewis said “Sorry, man, if you eat anything my parents will know I had people over and I’m not allowed.” “Oh.” said David Lewis’s friend.

i went to a playground with my friend
my friend was very drunk
my friend had just gotten kicked out of his parents’ house
we went to the playground because we had nowhere else to go
we sat down on some slides
there were some young kids nearby playing soccer
there were some moms too
he said: in three days my dad will call me begging for me to come home
he said: i do so much shit for them they need me
he said: i am going to get a job and get my own place and buy a boat
when he said these things he sounded like a very drunk person
he smoked a cigarette
he unbuttoned his shirt
it was very hot
it was evening but it was still very hot
it was summer
my brother was there too
he lay down on the woodchips and went to sleep
my friend not my brother
it looked uncomfortable but he seemed okay
he was very drunk
i talked with my brother
my friend slept for about 45 minutes
when he woke up it was dark
he said: i do so much shit for them
he said: they need me.

1.
the german word for wanting to leave the show with anybody other than the person that you came with

2.
people who i have had/currently have/probably could have romantic/sexual relationships with:
sad girls
girls who wish they were ‘hipsters’ but aren’t
ugly hipster boys
terrible older gay men

3.
i have been reading this girl’s twitter every day, for a while now, and she doesn’t no how to spell 'masterbate’

4. (abridged)
feel like at the moment would 'be down for’ powerful feelings of unrequited love, and all of the sadness/anxiety that those feelings entail, but i dont know anyone
…
had a dream i got aids from sleeping w/my straight friend [redacted]. in the dream he was gay i guess.

5.
my okcupid profile is an elaborate piece of performance art the ultimate goal of which is to find and sustain meaningful human interaction.

guilt for the past
shame for the present
anxiety for the future

6.
i thought my brother was depressed but hes actually doing pretty good, haha. he was just tired, i think.
why did you think he was depressed?
he’s always, or usually depressed i guess. i mean, i am too, but in a different way. i am better at hiding it too, i think. he’s also really mopey

7. (omitted)

8.
tabs are like, on the internet, like a new tab on your browser, but it could also refer to like, a tab of acid, or maybe some other drug. and you like drugs and you like the internet, and you write about both of those things, so maybe you could do something with tabs. in your writing.

mm. i said.

9.
save the phone number of the ~28 y.o. man hitting on you on okcupid that you are probably going to sleep with because you are on klonopin and are fucked up and dont care about anything, anyway, you save his phone number in your cell phone as “Low Self Esteem” and hope that you will at least get a story or a poem out of this.

10.
i am fucked up on klonopin and there is a list of known campus rapists being compiled in the comments of a facebook status.

11. (edited for typos)
i want to write a poem called “this is a poem if you didn’t realize it” but i have already written a poem with that title
that is the hardest thing about being a poet, i think
you run out of titles.