Carpe Diem

This is the money Patrick. Reblog so money will come your way

“I’m getting back in line.”

OKAY but i just reblogged this last night and guess what i got today from my workplace’s self-audit!

THANK YOU PATRICK FOR FREE MONEY

BLESS ME PATRICK

PATRICK I HAVE NEVER STRAYED YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU

@billshitposts

*rolls sleeves* aight dude lets get me some money

Can i just *Gets in line*…there

Y'all I reblogged this and got $240 in tips in one day at work so 🤔🤔🤔

Honestly I know it’s kinda silly…but weirdly… It does seem to work

Im getting in line! 

PUT ME IN LINE

But women discrimination is a myth right??

Imagine how many people’s lives they ruined. There were probably so many women that went in there knowing they destroyed that test. Yet, when they got their results back…they had to be so confused and disappointed. Mentally and emotionally, that had to be quite the blow. Anyway, this is evil.

Oh… sorry. {x}

but then again, its kind like putting a meat suit on and telling a shark not to eat you

We (men) are not fucking sharks!

We are not rabid animals living off of pure instinct

We are capable of rational thinking and understanding. 

Just because someone is cooking food doesn’t mean you’re entitled to eat it. 

Just because a banker is counting money doesn’t mean you’re being given free money.

Just because a person is naked doesn’t mean you’re entitled to fuck them. 

You are not entitled to someone else’s body just because it’s exposed. 

What is so fucking difficult about this concept?

How can you not reblog something like this

I C A N N O T breathe

THAT LAST LIKE .01 SECOND

OH MY G OD

Fun facts about your sign here

So I used to have a Russian friend who had a pretty thick accent and like a lot of Russians tended to eschew articles. She would say things like “Get in car.” And stuff.

Well one day this asshole who had been kind of tagging along with us asks her why she talks like that because it makes her sound dumb and I still remember her response word for word.

“Me? Dumb? Maybe in America you have to say get in THE car because you are so stupid that people might just get in random car, but in Russia we don’t need to say that. We just fucking know because we are not stupid.”

One time I was proof reading a paper for a Russian student. As I was correcting her paper with her, the many mistakes in her grammar started weighing on her. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, almost sobbing,

“In Russian I am so intelligent and clear. In English I am like [an] idiot”

Respect to anyone trying to master a foreign language. I get so sad thinking about that student.

Full offense but people who make fun of someone else’s accent or belittle their limited vocabulary when they’re speaking a language not native to them are fucking disgusting and are just begging to be punched.

They’re speaking your language because you don’t know theirs. That’s not something they should be made fun of, it’s something that should be commended because learning a language is hard fucking work.

I hate people who do this so much.

First time ever today at work I had someone laughing at me meanspiritedly because of my Spanish.

Like … I’m sorry I learned it out of books. I’m sorry that was ten years ago. I’m sorry it’s out of date. I’m sorry I sound weird when I speak it because there are a lot of words I don’t know and the best I can do is try to talk around them. Can I please just … take your order? Por favor?

asymptotic - a love song in math (soundcloud)

2015 - Here are some gifs of Donald Trump being attacked by a bald eagle named Uncle Sam, literally the least patriotic thing that can happen to an American. [video]

I’m reblogging this again because I finally realized why this is so funny to me, as a bird person.

In the first gif, what you’re seeing is a man who has zero idea how to handle a bird. That’s a heavy bird, and he’s got his arm stretched out as far as it will go in an attempt to keep the bird away from his face. What that does is create unstable footing for Uncle Sam. The handler is there trying to hold up Trump’s arm, but the bird has already realized it needs to leave or it will fall. In the first gif the bird is not attacking Trump- it is trying to get away from him so it doesn’t get hurt.

In the second gif, what we see is a bird that remembers what just happened and is blaming Trump for it. Uncle Sam sees Trump reach for its tether, and makes a lunge at Trump’s hand to keep him away. The bird /does not/ want to hang out with Trump because it has learned that Trump has no idea what he is doing.

Uncle Sam is rejecting Trump based on Trump’s proven inability to properly handle Uncle Sam. And that is both hilarious and beautiful.

Good bird.

Always reblog Uncle Sam telling Trump to fuck off

This is a better explanation of these gifs than I could have given!

I had to reblog this, for obvious reasons.

Later that day

🤣🤣🤣💀💀