Underwater Hotel
00:00
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01:31
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1. |
Underwater Hotel
01:31
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UNDERWATER HOTEL
Let's build that road
Across the ocean
To the Faeroe Islands
We will watch
The annual beaching of whales
Water red
President delegating each piece
To each peaceful place
We will stay at the underwater hotel
Learn the language of the merfolk
We will!
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2. |
Share the Good
03:40
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SHARE THE GOOD
I will shut up
In my room
With the husk of a giant ladybug
Heavily spotted and dark red
In my palm it will know
How long I'll live
Tell me when this sun set
I will collect them
A warm rustle of elytra
A stretch and a yawn
Feel free to go
Or stay.
Stay!
I will pull back
Withhold
You, bored, change the channel
Ratings down,
I will become snow
Snow. Snow!
I will zip it and go home
Dismiss passion no more
No more! No more! No more!
Don't hold back your love!
Don't forget what's there!
Don't forget to offer your hand!
Don't forget to share the good!
Share the good!
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3. |
The Sleepy Creatures
02:07
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THE SLEEPY CREATURES
Carmine, we have a problem
The sleepy creatures are multiplying!
Darnell, our little girl!
Snuggle bunny nuzzling
Do you like your new collar sweetie?
Carmine, I'm tired of it
There are thousands!
Thousands of them!
Would you like to take a sleepy creature home?
Never really awake...
Darnell, I miss that sleeper
We couldn't keep her
She sleeps between us,
Keeps us warm!
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4. |
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THE GOD OF PAUSES, BREATHS & RESTS
Dear god of pauses, breaths and rests,
I have a wish
I need your best
My bouncing back is less and less
So this
Is the unceremonious end...?
I don't know what to say
But "It's hard" and "I'm sorry
I'm crazy
I'm trying..."
So this is the big bang
New beginning
I am ready and raring
Pawing at the air
What if no one's there or near?
What if I'm too sad to move
Or woo you?
What if there's no room,
No movement,
No break,
No rescue or revelation?
Sit with it
Sit with the uncomfort
The no answer
The impatience
Watch and learn
Dear god of pauses, breaths and rests
I have a wish
I need your best
My bouncing back is less and less
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5. |
Heavy Heart
02:48
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HEAVY HEART
I never dreamed
Your bones
In some plastic bag
It's been six years since
You left while you slept
I never dreamed
I would only see you
In my heart
In my head
I drew stars on your hands
And a star where you stand
Now it's drugs to sleep
And drugs to wake
Drugs to socially lubricate
No circadian rhythm left
To speak of
And now
All your winter gear is old and thin
And layers aren't cutting it
And the wind is cutting in
And your cut is not making ends meet
Heavy heart
Won't stop stalling out
Heavy heart won't stop
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6. |
Too Cold To Hold
03:21
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TOO COLD TO HOLD
I regret
Being so shy and soft-spoken
And where it did not get me
I regret to say:
I have plateaued
I cannot stay
There is further yet to go
It is safe to say
My fair face
Has seen it's share
Has seen enough
I regret being so hesitant
To do anything of consequence
I regret what time was spent
Propped on the fence
Inactive and apathetic
I regret not telling you earlier
While you were still here
And now
It's electronic love letters
Too cold to hold
I regret not remembering the good
Not documenting as extensively
The pleasure, the laughter, the humor,
The getting along
I regret to say:
I have plateaued
I cannot stay
There is further yet to go
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7. |
My Mess
02:25
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MY MESS
My voice
My fire
My light
My eyes
Foggy, blind
Distorted, rose
Am I making things worse for myself?
Am I being ungrateful?
I am so grateful!
Give yourself a break
A vacation from hating yourself
My rules, so rigid
My love
My trust
Muffled
Don't be so shy
Don't fall back so soon
My breath
My mess
My haste, impatience
Give yourself a break
A vacation from hating yourself
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8. |
A Model For All Things
02:10
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A MODEL FOR ALL THINGS
I am hot from walking
You are out of town
We are chomping at the bit
Though
Things are moving fast
But not too fast
We are sleeping in
We have always lived in the now
Present
You and I
This is true love
This is commitment
Let this be a model for all things romantic
What if I say I want to spend my life with you?
This is true love
This is commitment
Let this be a model for all things romantic
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9. |
So Close It Glows
02:51
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SO CLOSE IT GLOWS
You will take me
Out to sea
But will you follow me to the Yukon
When we are old men?
You surprised me
No easy feat
Taking me out to sea
Past the golden gate
Holding hands to balance
There were islands
And sea lions
And whales who tried land
And went back to water
I won't forget
The best date ever
I'll come back for seconds
I can hear a dull roar
My ear to the ground
A hum coming
A train
I can't tell you
I can tell the future
And in it
There is a place we go
That is so close it glows
How did you know?
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10. |
Go Deaf, Wear White
02:51
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GO DEAF, WEAR WHITE
Leaf-like, I crunch me with you
Using you like a sharp tool
Even the men in my dreams
Are excusing themselves politely
And you know what?
Save it
I don't care
Whatever
It's jealousy,
Textbook.
It's embarrassing
I should cut down on the drinking
On the number of foots in mouths
In fact, cut talking all together
Go deaf
And wear white
All white
Leaf-like, I check out
I cannot be here for this branch detaching
Taxed and running on E
There is no time for anything I love
I am
Recovering
I forget I am a wonder
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11. |
Thanksgiving Plague
03:15
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THANKSGIVING PLAGUE
Look at us
Such mistrust
Quarantined and holed away
Is it lack of caring?
Is it lack of wanting to venture out?
Is it better off just staying where you are?
Is there nothing to find?
Will I just get hurt?
Will I burn out?
Grime and gristle
Carbon, black, stuck to the pan
Will you burn out on me?
Tired of listening
Is arm's length far enough?
Have you had enough?
Is this death catching?
Does it come in threes?
Who will be next?
Who will be left after this plague?
It's Thanksgiving but we're mourning
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12. |
Warm Gold
02:14
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WARM GOLD
You don't scare me
And I don't scare you
Your heart pours warm gold down my throat
You are mirror
Then a burst of light
When two streams combine
We have struck gold in this dark mine
I am rich! I am happy!
I am rich! I am fed!
I have a bottomless carpet bag
Of things to give
Intangible and tangible
You have slowed time
Sped up this heart
Untied knots
Ironed worry
At ease, at peace!
You picked me ripe amid marigold and yew
You sure showed me
I am rich! I am happy!
I am rich! I am fed!
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13. |
Go West
01:49
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GO WEST
Go west
Pan for gold
If there's any left
If the know-how hasn't died out
Get wet
Throw yourself in
Hot sex
At the hotsprings
You got me wet
All bets were on
But I lost
How could i forget
But I digress...
Go west
Pan for gold
If there's any left
If the know-how holds out
Your v-neck
Opened into your chest
And through your
Soft forest
I dove into the rest of you
I dove into the best of you
Go west
Pan for gold
If there's any left
If the know-how hasn't died out
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Purrbot Portland
Nathan Wade Carter (he/him) is a queer, grey-a, non-binary poet, musician, & artist living in Portland, Oregon. His chapbook is ROYGBIV (Ursus Americanus Press 2017). His poetry can be found in Hobart, Fugue, Gramma Poetry, Poor Claudia, The Fem, & others. He is the editor and founder of SUSAN / The Journal. He writes & performs songs under the name Purrbot. ... more
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