Ooh, yeah.

I can't even talk about this one. Just do yourself a favor and watch it fucking immediately.

You're welcome.

Maybe It Was Softcastle McCormick.

Okay internets, here's the thing. I love fantasy-style literature more than almost anything in this world.

The only things I like more are booze, dance parties, and mercilessly mocking fantasy-style literature.

So my heart swelled with rapture when I stumbled across "Wizard People, Dear Reader" by Brad Neely. You can find almost all of the chapters on Youtube, but chronology is for losers. Let's start in the middle, shall we?

Lumbermouth shows his namesake.

If it doesn't strike you as hilarious at first, don't worry. It will creep up on you and then you will be peeing your pants with glee. Another bonus is that the comments for these videos are largely from literary nerds! Intelligent comments! On youtube! It's a beautiful paradox.

In essence, "Dear Reader" is, as one youtube commenter put it, like listening to an autistic David Sedaris talk about magic.


TGI motherfuckin' wizardly F, internets.

I'll Poke Yer Mon!

Well now that we've gotten that off our chests. Pokemon, you guys. It never gets old.

As somebody who loves to have their childhood constantly corrupted, I bring you...

Pikachu on Acid!!!

One more for the drugtoon genre!

Just trust me on this one. It's delightfully stupid, and my favorite Pikachu-related video since "Bitches" stumbled drunk out of its limo in the mid-2000s. Which I know you now want to re-watch, so here. I gotchu, girl.

Bitches love me 'cause they know that I"m on time.

So sit back, relax, and let Pikachu take you on a drug-addled ride through your subconscious. Oh, you didn't know? Your subconscious is totally a motherfucking Pokemon. But don't worry, maybe it's one of those legendary birdy assholes. You should feel lucky. Shake ya tailfeathers, you uncatchable jerk.

Soda Shots to the Face

Some how while doing research, I fell into the weird part of the internet.

Well, probably not so weird..

 It's the 90's again and sticky beverages are shooting into delighted faces, grown men are whipping  their ultraviolet hairback and forth, and there's some kind of ritual going on... I just had to share it with you guys. And so I present Boody and Le1f's "Soda."

Obey Your Oral Fixation

If you would like to learn more about this duo and EP, jump on over to pitchfork.com.




Besos, and remember to step up to the ocean and put the serum in your system.

'Tis the Season for DMX!

DMX will totally play all of your reindeer games, which is just another check on the long list for reasons why he's my favorite. (Need we even hearken back to the times of the XXL Magazine interview? Yo' mama aint name you no damn Barack!)

You'll go down in historyyyy... (forever!)

Happy holidays, internets. I hope you inspire us with your own rendition of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" after slamming down one too many eggnogs!

Black Metal. Vegan. Thanksgiving.

Like a fine wine, the internet has provided us with the perfect counterpoint to kittens and Lil B.

The raucous, unholy vegans at Vegan Black Metal Chef have posted the answer to your satanic November rituals: Vegan Black Metal Thanksgiving!!!! (scroll down for the video)

Roast in the eternal flame for 45 minutes!

Cool! My inverted pentagram altar also doubles as a cutting board!

This video is metal as fuck and the cooking directions are surprisingly easy to follow. I also rather enjoy being screamed at (and I'm sure you do too), so this is perfection in its truest form. Let's all watch, shall we?

GRAVY IS BROTH AND FAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, everybody. If you never thought you'd completely lose your shit and form a circle pit for moshing to the guttural melodies of the Cooking Channel, the internet is here to prove you wrong. Happy Black Metal Thanksgiving!!

Damn Bruh, This Cat Got Skillz

So the "first rapper ever to publish a book at 19," Lil B has dropped the single of the newest cat to the rap game on Youtube-- literally a cat.

Her name is Keke and she lays down the meanest, smoothest purrs to ever hit the game. Check the track below. 

B: "Say something, Keke" 

Keke [translated]: "Rub my belly and look at my asshole-- it's a star like I is"

 You can find out more about Keke from Chris Martins's article over at Spin.com, and if you are young cat with a dream, you can follow the premiere animal-rap mogul Lil B on Twitter.